Sermon Spikuski - Bryn G


Report of the Experimental House Point System Failure

“…obviously we needed something to replace the House Point fairies . However, in retrospect house point Octopi was probably bad idea. Fortunately a few trusted students are helping out. Yes, Sermon is being a great help. At the very least, his gauntlet is good for washing away the ink….so much ink.”

From the pages of the Tosat Herald:

Top Bureaucrat dispenses Justice on the mean streets of Tosat.

… Upon arriving in Tosat, Spikuski got a job in the Governmental offices, quickly rising through the ranks to a position where he could pass the Spikuski 24-Hour Justice act,. However our hero has a more adventurous side as well. At regular intervals each week he can be found taking pre-designated routes around the rougher areas of Tosat, searching for any miscreants to dispense low-to-moderate amounts of Justice upon, while dressed in his immaculate beige suit .

We interviewed a member of Tosat's police force, and he had this to say about Sermon's style “Well he likes to use his signature spell, 'embeigen' or whatever it's called to make himself too dull to look at, and then tails the crims through the back alleys. Personally, I think he gets an easy run of it, I mean, the back alleys of Tosat are already pretty generic, so its even easier for him to blend in.”

Sermon has been known for his unusual approach to punishment. We interviewed one lawbreaker who had the misfortune to be on the receiving end of one of his telling-offs. “Man, I've seen plenty of thugs and killers during my time, but the glare I got from him then, it just…terrified me. It was like he was looking into my soul. Then he started talking. The lecture seemed like it lasted hours…because it did. By the end of it I was like…I don't even know.” The miscreant was let go. He has never re-offended.

Though any figure like Sermon will obviously be the subject of some controversy, this reporter believes in our heroic, by-the-book, politely-talking protector. So I say three cheers for Sermon Spikuski, Person of the People.

In recognition of Mr Spikuski's achievements the eastern district of Tosat has been re-painted beige, to forever remind the citizens of their dull-coloured hero.

bio/sermon.txt · Last modified: 2011/09/21 22:23 by elliew
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